Jahatkah aku

I have three special friends at the moment that I 'sayang' so much. They are so sweet, comel and important thing they love me very very much. Sometimes I feel so cruel to them, but what I can do? I know, it wasn't fair for them. Being with them make my life perfect and happy. Without them I've got nothing and living in dark. But why I can't stick to one? Still looking for the answer... jahatkah aku?